On Sun, 13 Jul 2008 08:10:15 +0100, Orchid XP v8 wrote:

>>>>> Nah. She's explicitly not looking for a BF.
>>>> Girls *always* say that, and then end up dating the first guy with
>>>> the guts to ask them out.
>>> Erm... this girl has just come out of an abusive relationship with a
>>> guy who used to physically beat her. I'm pretty sure she's not
>>> kidding.
>> 
>> Ugh, that's some nasty stuff to deal with.
> 
> Indeed.
> 
> Although a few days ago, her profile on Facebook had the caption "Kate
> is looking for somebody but isn't sure where to find them", and
> yesterday it changed to "Kate is giving up on men, no offence to any but
> not more head messings please!" I'm confused...

This tells me that she's still dealing with issues from her last 
relationship.

>>> That's more or less my plan, but... she's so hard to hang out with!
>>> She's always "busy". :-(
>> 
>> She's getting over some pretty serious stuff.  Give her space and time.
> 
> I don't think that's the problem - I made it clear I just wanna be
> friends. I think she really *is* just very busy right now... Hopefully
> it won't last forever. She seems to be making a lot of effort to bother
> answering my texts and emails.

Well, that's a good sign.  But having been in a physically abusive 
relationship, it takes time to get one's head on straight again and to 
trust people.  Believe me when I say I know what I'm talking about here.  
It's different for everyone, but people who have been the targets of 
abusive behaviour (and not just physical abuse) sometimes take *years* to 
come to terms with it and to trust anyone.

It *usually* isn't personal (one could never say unequivocally that it's 
*never* personal).  Fear is a powerful emotion and causes people to 
behave in inconsistent ways.

Jim

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