On 17-Jul-08 17:38, Orchid XP v8 wrote:
> Hooookay then... So I just decided that I would *finally* apply for a 
> job with HMGCC. I've been talking about it for long enough!
> 
> However, one does not simply email a CV to them. This is HMG, after all! 
> You must fill in a long, complex online application form. And some of 
> the fields really aren't very clearly labelled.
> 
> "If you are British or naturalised, please state the certificate number:"
> 
> Er... what?
> 
> Anyway, they want to know some pretty serious stuff - where were you 
> born, have you been outside the country in the last 10 years, do you 
> have a girlfriend, 

And what if you are gay or, worse, a girl?

> what is your national insurance number, etc. It's 
> taken ages just to fill out all the information.
> 
> After all that, it seems I can't actually apply anyway!
> 
> An application is not processed until ALL fields have been completed. 
> This causes a problem for me on two counts.
> 
> First, I don't have any references - and they want two of 'em. I *would* 
> have put my boss, but he recently left the company. I would have put our 
> site manager, but he recently left too. The new management team can't 
> even remember my name. No point having them for references! I might also 
> have said my uni lecturers - you know, if the uni hadn't shut down as 
> soon as I graduated...

Unless your boss and the site manager have been fired for gross 
incompetence or are dead they could still serve as a reference, I would 
think.

> 
> Second, they have a selection of questions of the form "describe a time 
> when you did X". Mostly for values of X where the set of suitable 
> examples is empty. o_O
> 
> Actually, I'd just like to walk through this set, because it seems to be 
> a popular sort of thing for employers to ask...
> 
> 
> 
> 1. Describe a time when you worked with others to solve a complex problem.
> 
> Um... OK. What do you say to this one? I mean, if you happen to work for 
> a company that designs complex products and you're on the design team, 
> this should be a cakewalk. But otherwise? I mean, when was the last time 
> YOU solved a complex problem? (Never mind with other people.)
> 
> Suffice it to say, I can't think of a single example for this. I've 
> never *met* anybody (apart from me) who knows the difference between a 
> Fourier transform and a Laplace transform. Any remotely complex problems 
> I might have solved have been solved by me and me alone.

There must be examples of you and your boss or the IT in the US trying 
to solve the internet problems. Even designing the network in your new 
building may be an example. E-mailing counts as 'working together' in 
this context

> 
> 
> 2. Please describe an example of when you delivered a high quality piece 
> of work that you were proud of.
> 
> Hmm, this is hard. Usually when I deliver something, all I can think 
> about is how badly it sucks and how I should have done much better... 
> but maybe I can find something for this one.

What about the procedures document you had written? Even if you are 
psychologically unable to be proud on something you did, this is the 
sort of things they want to hear.

> 
> 3. Give an example of when you tacked an unfamiliar problem or task, and 
> how you learned something new.
> 
> Do I tell them about the time I spent 2 days writing out the binomial 
> expansions of powers up to 9 by longhand algebra and thereby derived a 
> special case of the binomial theorem from first principles? Or should I 
> write something about the time when I tried to build a parser for my 
> computer-aided algebra system, and ended up inventing Dijkstra's 
> shunting algorithm? Either way, I highly doubt anybody will be 
> impressed. After all, reinventing obscure mathematics hardly counts as 
> "solving" a "problem"...

It does. The problem to solve is how to implement it. Many of the things 
you did in Haskell will neatly fit in this category.

> 
> 4. Please describe a time when you took on a task that illustrates your 
> active interest in this area of work and allowed you to develop new skills.
> 
> Uuuhhhh... Well I can tell you all manner of things I've learned out of 
> pure curiosity. But things I learned because of attempting to perform a 
> specific "task"?
> 
> ...nope, I'm coming up blank here...

More Haskell here. Or your non-linear equations, point to Zazzle as proof.

Are there no simple to answer questions like: 'are you the mascot of an 
internet society' or 'are you the subject of a webcomic'?

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