Bruno Cabasson wrote:
> Well, Sam, I do not want to appear as I am not, and I absolutely do not 
> want to make 2-pence philosophy.
> 
> But as a father, I tried to grow my kids with what I am and with what I 
> have, despite my separation with they mother (so usual today).
> 
> As a man, I entered the buddhist Dharma because I find myself close to 
> this approach and its ways in helping people to meet their 'humanness'. 
> This goes through the path of searching for myself.
> 
> As a sophrologist, I made a commitment towards myself and others, 
> learning some techniques related to body and soul.
> 
> Everybody carries more answers in himself than he is accustomed to think 
> (educated to?). This foolish world that surrounds us facilitates fear 
> and negativeness, in some circumstances raises them into a cult, because 
> some people of poor soul need our power in order to prevent themself 
> from searching their own. They use guilt and focus on other's failures 
> to hide theirs.

I respect and admire all beliefs which produce loving people. I think 
all beliefs hold a bit of truth.

> What is your main feeling: guilt? fear of any kind? negative sight on 
> yourself? on the world? hopelessness? loneliness? whatever ...

Guilt? Once, perhaps. Now, it's this fear of losing my mind and heart. 
Sometimes I feel not quite here, like my heart and spirit has been 
destroyed. Today I feel quite ok. I populate my head like I should, but 
this feeling comes and goes.

> My opinion is that chemical prison is mainly a sign of medicine's 
> failure, not yours, rejecting things upon the patients. By making the 
> patient 'escape' chemically, they escape from something they do not 
> master. They do not like not to master things. Pills can help escape 
> from a vicious circle, or rest for a while from a dificult situation, or 
> open a temporary window, in order to allow some other kind of action.
> 
> In fact, taking pills cannot be much considered as an 'action'. They are 
> rather likely to keep the situation as it is (or even worse), leading 
> also to chemical over-dependance, generating more harm than cure. 
> However they can be necessary for long-term in some cases, provided they 
> are well chosen and dosed, and only a necessary companion to the main 
> action.

That's one problem with my situation. The "main action" for me would be 
to attend groups down at mental health, but I lost my driver's license 
and probably won't be allowed to drive ever again. I'm 35 miles from MH...

> All of us here in the POV community have something in common: the desire 
> of making nice images, using our creativity the best we can, and 
> learning from others. This is a very positive attitude, no? AFAIK, you 
> made some nice images here... Creating images are a very positive action.

Yeah, but when you're depressed you gain no satisfaction from positive 
actions. You could even behave like a saint, but inside there is still 
that emptiness :(

> So despite all negativity of all kinds, of any reason, it is possible 
> for anyone to make the effort to see what he is capable of, to see what 
> he already made positive, rather than choosing the ease of complaining 
> endlessly on what appears wrong or too a heavy burden. It is not that 
> easy. But it is not that difficult.

You know, that line of thinking seems a lot like what Jesus taught.

> Antidepressants are not the answer, and many people could do without if 
> they were properly helped and followed-up. The first help I see is to 
> help to restart the desire of helping themselves. I am not sure that 
> pills and therapists are a definitive solution. They may help you go in 
> the way, not more. The only true solution is not only in yourself, but 
> IS yourself. Whatever you think you are or are not, whatever you have 
> done or not, whatever the world is or is not.
> 
> 
>     Bruno

It will take some time before I can take these words to the point of 
getting a job and sustaining myself in a normal way. You see, my moods 
can lead me to do very harmful things to myself, and I'd rather not flip 
out land in jail (again). I will take them to heart though, and always 
remember to redefine myself, instead of holding to an old definition.

Thanks, Bruno~

Sam

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