Yesterday one of my students suffered a bout of priapism during class. 
Google the term, I won't explain it here.  He was rather embarassed 
about it (I approached him later to ask if it had been a stunt or 
something unintentional, and his answer was very quiet).

Naturally, when some of the boys in later classes heard about this, they 
decided to amuse themselves by simulating the condition.

Today in fifth period a few of the boys got caught up in making fart 
jokes.  This did not amuse the girls who were sitting in front of them. 
  "You guys are a good example of why girls prefer to date older boys," 
I said to them.  They looked at me as if I had stated something contrary 
to common observation.  "Can I get a witness here?" I said.  All of the 
girls on that side of the room raised their hands.

Today I also issued a detention for one student for eating in class 
(that's prohibited at our school).  The miscreant tried to talk his way 
out of it (evidently the paintball championships are this weekend, and 
his father will not allow participation if he gets into too much 
trouble).  He first asked how much money it would take to get him out of 
the detention, and I responded that he and his father put together 
didn't have enough.  Then he asked, "who do I have to kill or sleep with 
to get out of this?"  I didn't answer, and didn't have to.  A student 
elsewhere in the room greeted Mrs. R----, who is the lady in charge of 
disciplining unruly students.  She was standing at the front of the room 
and had heard him quite clearly.

The mercury spill is going to cost our school about twenty grand, for 
the HAZMAT guys' response (which ran to about $16k), and another to 
replace the carpeting in my room.  The kid who brought the stuff to 
school was suspended for five days.  But the good news is that I was 
allowed back into my room today, so I didn't have to gin up a lecture on 
something to occupy the fifty minutes of class time; the kids are not 
very lecture-tolerant.

Regards,
John

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