"Bald Eagle" <cre### [at] netscapenet> wrote:
> I was making the young boy a PB & something sandwich today, and the Wonder
> chem-bread that he insists on was a bit lyophilized.
>
> "We need some --- loaf softener."
>
> So I did what all the good sheeple of the world do nowadays, and scoured Google,
> Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Target, Walmart, DoorDash, Amazon, and other
> online merchants who have masked and gloved employees providing no-touch
> packaged things for me to !!!BUY!!! ... in these troubled and turbulent times.
>
> But I have found nothing.
> Doe this marvel of modern science come in a box?   Like dryer sheets?
> Is it a liquid?   Like fabric softener?
> Is it some sort of digital technology?  A cross between a 3D printer and a
> graphics filter?
>
> Maybe it's a British product?   Boiled bread?  (Here in New England, we have
> "brown bread" - in a can.)
>
> I'm also concerned about spoilage and environmental impact.
> "I smell something funny - oh, it's the 'bread fumes'. "
> Are these dangerous?  Do you think those can etch the screen on my monitor?
> Cause lung cancer?  Do Bread Fumes contain {gasp} GLUTEN??!
>
> I'm hoping the "Marshmallow" Fluff adequately sealed in and neutralized the foul
> vapours and made the harsh and nearly inedible crust most supple and sweet.
>
> So please - we're trapped here in global quarantine, with nought but these tough
> and dessicated slices to gnaw on unless I can Purchase Something Online!
>
> Is there a link?  A Michelin Chef's club I can sign up for?  Some pre-chosen
> meal-in-a-box service complete with recipe suggestions?
>
> Time is running out....

I am sorry if I misunderstood you because of fast reading non native language...
Couldn't you purchase pre-baked or even raw bread paste from the web interface
of the drive in / delivered home   of a big supermarket franchise?

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